I only discovered my ADHD aged 56 in 2020 when I broke both my ankles (at the same time) and was confined to bed for weeks. I couldn’t do the things I needed to regulate myself. I was bored and, as this was during COVID, had few connections.
For the past five years, I feel as though I have studied for a degree in neurodivergence and now, in 2025, I feel great and have a whole bunch of tools to help me live a great ADHD life. Here is what I have learned and how I can potentially help you.
Different types of ADHD
ADHD is quite a silly term as we often don’t have a Deficit of Attention, we just have a different way of regulating it. We can be Hyperactive or Inattentive. I wonder why they don’t have an ‘I’ in the term, as impulse control can be a big challenge for us.
If you go down the assessment and diagnosis route, you will likely be given one of three diagnoses – Hyperactive, Inattentive, or Combined. I’m combined and, if I was officially diagnosed, would most likely come out as combined. I identify as an omnivert – extreme extrovert and extreme introvert. How would you describe your own experience?
I do have the piece of paper that says I’m autistic, but, having lived as an undiagnosed ADHDer for 60 years, I’ve not felt the need for that diagnosis. I don’t fancy languishing on a long waiting list and haven’t felt the need for medication, even though I have struggled significantly in the past with some of my traits. I’m more ADHD than I am autistic.
Supporting ADHD Clients
I have worked with close to two hundred ADHD clients, and what they bring to my therapy room is fascinating and complex. ADHD rarely comes by itself, so I have learned about co-occurring spectrums and a number of physical challenges we can experience.
Validating your ADHD Experience
You are the expert of yourself. I act as a guide, providing coaching and mentoring skills to your experience. Every person is truly unique. I understand this. There is no ‘one size fits all’. You will most likely bring mental health challenges and maybe physical challenges such as:
- Gut issues
- Headaches or migraines
- Muscle or skeletal issues
- Fibromyalgia
- Insulin or blood sugar difficulties
- Disordered Eating
- Emotional deregulation
- Communication problems
- Sleep issues
- Over or under-stimulation regulation
- Hormone issues
- Relationship worries
- Work issues
- Living on a planet that you feel you don’t fit into challenges
Executive Dysfunction issues
You may have heard the expression ‘Executive Dysfunction’. Another silly term, in my opinion. I visualise a man in a suit with a briefcase walking weirdly lol.
What this really means are the many ways ADHD can make your life a right royal pain in the bottom. I can guide you to improve different aspects of this condition. Let’s dig deeper.
Time Management Problems
Everything to do with time can be an issue. This can include being late, running out of time, giving yourself enough time to do things, and leaving things to the last minute and stressing yourself out.
You may already have a number of gadgets or planners to help you with time issues. I’d love to know what you use and look at more options to get your timings back on track. It is important to know that acceptance of your uniqueness is key. You operate in a different way and maybe it’s time to give yourself a break and some credit. I bet you’re doing the best you can. You know what? You are good enough!
Starting tasks, keeping on track and finishing them
Nearly all my ADHD clients struggle with task initiation. We can feel totally stuck – paralysed – by not being able to get started. I know what that feels like.
Often, for us ADHDers, it’s because the task is not interesting and we’d rather be doing something else. Sadly, we need to do a bunch of stuff to get us through our day like washing, eating, putting away clothes, tidying up, applying for jobs or making that promise to visit dear aunt Betty.
Cutting tasks into smaller segments can help. So does job stacking and body doubling. I have a number of handy tools to get you started. As we can get distracted super easily, there are more tips for keeping on track. Much of the issue is around dopamine which we have a different way of processing. I can tell you one thing – when a job that has been put off gets started, carries on and gets completed, the reward for finishing it is often such a great feeling. I fly through stuff now and feel so less stressed.
Motivation with ADHD
If you are more the inattentive type of ADHDer, getting motivated can be a real burden. Side note – if you also smoke weed, you’re making getting motivated a huge task. Just saying…
Motivation may not just be an ADHD issue. Your lack of motivation may be coming from a mental health challenge. We are not just our ADHD. Our lives are full of things that have happened to us that may have made us stressed, anxious, depressed, or traumatised. As a Psychotherapist and Counsellor, these considerations are important to explore. When you feel better mentally, you are more likely to be able to take your ADHD characteristics in your stride and feel more motivated.
I can help you discover why you are lacking in motivation. This is no quick fix, and you will need to put the work in. I can help you take small steps towards reaching the goals that are important to you – even if that is just brushing your teeth or eating healthily.
Planning and Organising Challenges
As humans, we all have different ways in which we plan and organise our lives. Some of them might seem crazy or wrong to other people, but they work for us. I can describe exactly where an item is when asked, even if it is under a pile of washing in the back bedroom. Organised chaos is how many of us live our lives. So what? Works for many of us.
We can explore your organising and planning methods and look at more ways to relieve stress and feel more free in your daily life.
Hyperactivity
You might feel as though you can’t sit still, always on the move, then feeling exhausted. Your hyperactivity might not show on the outside. It can be your brain that is hyperactive. All those mental lists and intrusive thoughts. Such a common issue. When we internalise, we can often present with physical problems.
In therapy, we can explore why you may be feeling agitated, unfulfilled or bored and we can definitely look at those intrusive thoughts and do something about them.
Impulse Control
Have you ever used the expression ‘control freak’ to describe yourself? Being in control is such an important emotional need that we need to keep in balance, but we often can’t. This can mean interrupting people or talking over them. We can feel desperate to say our piece without thinking about the consequences and whether we are hurting the other person.
ADHD people have many ideas. Often, when an idea gets stuck in our head, we just have to make our plan work, whether it is a good one or not. This is where a ‘pause point’ becomes a very beneficial technique, before we do something we might regret. This can be about anything, including unhealthy coping mechanisms like spending, drinking, drugs, overwork and so much more.
Memory Problems
Recently, I thought I might be experiencing cognitive decline as I’m 60. I sat with the thought and realised – it’s just my ADHD. We are born ADHD and we will die being ADHD. Our memory is not linear. It changes at different times in our lives.
So many of my clients, and me included, have terrible memories. We often can’t remember much at all before the age of seven. I discovered that this is very common and not something to be concerned about.
Because we are constantly thinking about things – all day, every day – we need our brains to be able to get rid of stuff. Sometimes it gets rid of stuff we wish we could remember. If we remembered absolutely everything, our brains would be enormous and likely full of mush, so a lot of information has to be disposed of naturally, normally through our dreams at night. This also applies to the emotions we feel during the day.
ADHD Support
Added to Executive Dysfunction, there are a whole bunch of other traits that make up the ADHD experience. We can explore:
- Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria
- Boredom
- Communication difficulties
- Alexithymia and Interoception challenges
- OCD
- and much more…
If you would like to see how we might be able to work together, please fill out the contact form here and we can arrange for that FREE twenty-minute phone consult. I can see you at my therapy room locally in Frome or online nationally.
I look forward to speaking with you soon.
Best wishes
Sally