Christmas can be joyful, but it can also feel overwhelming. The pressure to make everything perfect, please everyone, and stay cheerful can raise stress levels fast. A stress-free Christmas isn’t about everything going smoothly. It’s about setting limits, planning ahead, and being kind to yourself when things don’t go to plan.
These ten simple tips will help you manage Christmas stress, set healthy boundaries, and find moments of calm in the middle of the festive rush.
Tip 1 – Accept
Christmas comes round every year, and you can decide what sort of holiday season you have.
Accept that there will be times when your stress levels rise. Hopefully, you won’t be in stress mode constantly. There will also be times of calm.
Accept that there is only so much you can do. You don’t have eight arms like an octopus. The best you can do is good enough.
Realise that not everyone gets on one hundred per cent of the time. We are all human.
Accept your flaws and your skills. That is what makes you who you are.
Tip 2 – Plan Ahead
We all have different ways of planning for Christmas. I am ADHD, and it is vital that I plan week by week in the run-up to Christmas.
Whatever you can do now frees up time for the busy two weeks before the big day.
Here is a short video showing how I plan. It’s visual and simple. Crossing off tasks feeds my dopamine and gives me a reward.
Tip 3 – Set boundaries. Learn to say “No”
Do you still have time to say no? Just because you have always done Christmas a particular way, it doesn’t mean you always have to.
Have a think about the Christmas you always wanted to have but felt unable to say no for fear of upsetting people. When you think about your choice of Christmas, how does that make you feel – excited, happy?
How to say “No”. You might find saying no face-to-face a bit daunting. Can you call your loved ones and calmly explain that, for a change, this one year, you will be doing something different? Keep it short, without emotion.
You may want to claim back just Christmas Day itself. You can say that you will see them on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day instead, perhaps?
It’s the same with kids asking for expensive presents when you don’t have the funds. I’ve been there. I put my big girl pants on, took a deep breath and with a calm voice and straight face said, “No, we can’t afford that this year. The budget for your present this year is £xx, then change the subject. If the kids go on about it, repeat. Keep repeating the same thing until they get fed up asking.
Try it with social engagements you’d rather not go to. Be vague by saying you ‘might’ be going instead of ‘definitely’ going to give yourself a get-out clause. There’s nothing worse than getting all anxious in the run-up to an event you really didn’t want to go to.
Tip 4 – Choose who you want to spend Christmas with
You have a choice. You shouldn’t have to dread spending time with those who don’t bring joy to the festivities.
Family members can be manipulative and even resort to emotional blackmail. This is your day too. If there is tension or you think you’ll have a repeat of a bad Christmas with certain people, then don’t invite them or go to their house. Back to setting boundaries.
I remember one Christmas just wanting to spend it with my husband and two sons, who were young at the time. I admit that I felt nervous about informing my parents, brother and his family that we were having a quiet one. I felt the fear and did it anyway. We had the best Christmas ever! After that, I alternated Christmases from then on – one year at home with just us, the next inviting extended family or going to their house. It worked a treat.
You might be single and want nothing more than having Christmas on your own. Do it. Imagine sitting down to your favourite food – anything you like – watching what you want, doing anything you please. Heaven hey?
Tip 5 – Food shopping for Christmas
Prices have gone up significantly, and there will be a lot of competition between supermarkets. The shops will likely have some great deals now, and then ramp up their prices in the two weeks before Christmas. Time to sort out the freezer!
Some supermarkets have amazing deals on meat and salmon in the run-up to Christmas Day. I have a loyalty card now for each store, and I will be buying the cheapest goods to box up in my garage or pack into my freezer.
Do you have to buy quaint jars of piccalilli from an expensive farm shop? Check out the reviews for own brands. You could even decant them into your own jars and put labels and frills on them. Who would know?
Tip 6 – What to wear for Christmas
Do you feel pressured to buy an outfit for Christmas Day? If you love dressing up and have the motivation and funds to do it, great. If not, wear whatever you want!
Tip 7 – Budget
Have to say, being ADHD, I am not great with money, but I’m getting better. I just can’t afford to splash out like I used to.
Can you sit down with a friend, partner or family member and jot down on a notepad what you realistically have to spend in the run-up to Christmas?
Maybe think about what you need and what you can honestly do without.
Christmas really should be about connection and love, not about spending money you don’t have.
What costs money?
- Food
- Presents
- Decorations
- A tree
- Travel expenses
- Socialising
It will all add up. Maybe try this approach
Food – look at Tip 5
Presents – Can you buy one thoughtful gift rather than five?
Decorations – Do you really need another 5 m of tinsel and that gold-encrusted bauble?
A tree – You may have an artificial one. Great if you do. Real trees vary considerably in cost. We now get ours from a guy who sells them from the side of the road. They’re half the price of a garden centre tree.
Travel expenses – Book tickets as early as you can to save money. Make sure to budget for petrol or diesel.
Socialising – Restaurants and drinks cost a fortune nowadays. I have needed to put a bit of money away in my savings account each month, just for going out. It’s not easy, but needs must.
Tip 8 – Mental Health
It is not selfish to think about yourself. If you are going through a difficult time, how about booking in for a few sessions with a therapist before Christmas?
You can try Counselling Directory here https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk, and you are welcome, of course, to fill out a contact form here for a free twenty-minute phone consultation with me to see if we are a good fit.
Just try to be a bit more compassionate about your own emotional needs. Christmas can be a difficult time for your mental health. Give yourself a break.
Tip 9 – Delegate
I’m a bit of a control freak around Christmas, but I have started to ask other people to do more.
Can you get your food shopping delivered?
Who else can go and get the tree?
Make a plan and ask family members what they can do? Chopping veggies, going out to get wrapping paper, walking the dog, writing the Christmas cards, going out to fill the cars up, or doing Housework. It isn’t fair for you to do it all. Time to get into friendly Sergeant Major mode.
Tip 10 – Planning in some ‘you’ time
It’s often a mad rush. This can be fun or a nightmare. I know I leave some things to the last minute. It is important to set some time by for you to relax and take things a bit easy. Here are a few things to grab for yourself:
- A warm bath or long shower
- A walk
- Listening to music, a podcast or an audiobook
- Half an hour nap or snooze on your bed or sofa
- Fitting in a coffee with a friend, or a phone or video call
- Snuggling up with a blanket and some TV
- Having a cheeky phone scroll or game
- Booking a yoga or meditation session or doing one at home on YouTube
Remember, it’s just three days.
Whether you love Christmas or dread it. Christmas is only three days and before you know it, it’s over. Make it what you choose. You have control.
If you’re finding this time of year particularly hard, you don’t have to manage it alone. You can explore Anxiety Counselling or Online Counselling to find support and calm before the festive season begins.
Wishing you a stress-free build-up over the coming weeks.
Sally