My poor, sleep-deprived husband doesn’t begrudge the fact that when I get into bed, I’m usually asleep within ten minutes and get around seven hours of uninterrupted rest. I know this because my Fitbit keeps track and tells me I average about 47% light sleep, 19% deep sleep, 12% awake time, and 18% REM. Pretty standard stuff, but I know I’m lucky.
Of course, it’s not always this easy. I might not have a problem drifting off at 10 p.m., but when I wake up at 2 a.m. – that dreaded graveyard hour – I end up getting out of bed, making a cup of tea, watching the slugs crawl over the cats’ food bowls, or listening to the owls before I finally return to bed. Sound familiar?
For me, sleep has always been something I paid attention to, especially since I got my Fitbit and started obsessing over the data. I bought it to get fitter, but what fascinated me more was the sleep tracking. I used to think I needed eight hours, but I’ve learned that seven hours (and a chaotic house with two teenage boys and a clumsy husband) works for me.
But what about when you can’t sleep? Whether it’s insomnia, stress, a busy mind, or your environment, sleep deprivation can be debilitating. I know people who manage on four hours of sleep and used to envy them, thinking they had more time to get things done. Not anymore. Now I understand how crucial sleep is for our health, well-being, and longevity. Trust me, if you’re scraping by on minimal sleep, it’s bound to catch up with you eventually.
Why Sleep Matters
Humans thrive on 7-9 hours of sleep per night. Our ancestors had it easy – they went to bed when it was dark and woke up with the light. Today, with our fast-paced lives, constant tech use, and work demands, getting even seven hours feels like a luxury. But it’s not just about resting. Sleep is vital for both the body and mind.
When we sleep, we cycle through different stages: slow-wave (deep) sleep and REM sleep. Think of slow-wave sleep as hardware maintenance – it’s where your body repairs muscles, refreshes cells, and boosts the immune system. REM sleep, on the other hand, is more like software updates – it’s when your brain processes emotions and stores memories.
Research from Joe Griffin at the Human Givens Institute suggests that dreaming helps us deal with the emotions we don’t fully express during the day. For example, if your boss has a go at you and you bite your tongue, those unexpressed feelings get processed in your dreams. Your brain is essentially ‘deactivating’ emotional tension, allowing you to wake up feeling fresher.
But when you’re stressed or anxious, this process can go into overdrive. You end up spending more time dreaming, which leaves you waking up exhausted and mentally foggy. Tackling the root of your stress or emotional struggles will help, and talking to someone – a friend, a counsellor, or a therapist – can make a big difference.
Tips for Better Sleep
If you’ve struggled with sleep for years, you might think “that’s just the way I am” or even resort to sleeping pills. But there are alternatives, and small changes can have a big impact. So before you say, “I’ve tried everything and nothing works,” ask yourself – have you really given these methods a solid try?
Here are a few tried-and-tested tips to help you get a better night’s sleep:
- Watch Your Alcohol Intake
A couple of drinks won’t hurt, but if you drink too much, your body will go into withdrawal in the early hours. This can wake you up feeling thirsty, needing the loo, or just leave you tossing and turning. Aim to moderate your alcohol consumption, especially in the evening.
- Offload Your Thoughts
If your brain is buzzing with things you need to do the next day, it’s hard to switch off. Keep a notebook by your bed and jot down any tasks or worries before you go to sleep. Once they’re written down, let them go – tomorrow can wait.
- Cut Back on Caffeine
Caffeine can stay in your system for hours, so avoid it after 4 p.m. Opt for decaf, herbal teas, or a nice cup of hot chocolate instead. Chamomile is a good choice for relaxing before bed.
- Exercise (But Not Right Before Bed)
Regular exercise is great for sleep, but try to finish any intense workouts at least a few hours before bedtime. Working out too late can leave you feeling wired and make it harder to wind down.
- Check Your Bed
Is your mattress ancient and lumpy? If it’s been more than ten years, it might be time for a change. A comfortable bed is essential for good sleep. At the very least, make sure to rotate your mattress regularly.
- Switch Off the Screens
Your phone, laptop, or TV might be keeping you awake longer than you realise. The blue light from screens interferes with your body’s natural sleep cycle. Turn off devices at least an hour before bed and resist the urge to check social media in the middle of the night.
- Pets in the Bed? Think Again
As much as you love your cat or dog, they might be disturbing your sleep. Pets can be restless at night, jumping on and off the bed or waking you up. Try to keep them out of the bedroom if possible.
- Create a Sleep-Friendly Environment
A dark, quiet room makes all the difference. If you live in a noisy area or near an airport, blackout blinds and double glazing can help. If noise is still an issue, try earplugs or white noise.
- Stick to a Sleep Schedule
Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends. This helps regulate your body’s internal clock and improves the quality of your sleep. Avoid daytime naps if possible – they can throw your schedule off.
- Regulate Room Temperature
Your bedroom should be cool, but not too cold. If your feet get chilly, wear socks to bed. Finding the right temperature will help you stay asleep through the night.
- Break the Cycle of Waking Up
If you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep within 30 minutes, don’t just lie there. Get up, do something mindless (like folding laundry or reading a boring book), and try again when you feel drowsy.
- Try Relaxation Techniques
When you’re in bed, try 7/11 breathing – breathe in for a count of 7 and out for a count of 11. This helps calm your nervous system. While doing this, visualise a calming place – maybe a forest or a beach – and immerse yourself in the sights and sounds. This combination of deep breathing and imagery can help you drift off more easily.
Final Thoughts
I know some of these tips might seem obvious, but if you want better sleep, it might be time to tweak your habits. Give these strategies a try for a couple of weeks and see if they make a difference. You deserve restful, restorative sleep—and your body and mind will thank you for it.
Sweet dreams, comrades!
P.S. If you’ve tried everything and still struggle with sleep, it might be a sign of deeper emotional challenges. As a qualified hypnotherapist and student of Human Givens therapy, I can help you work through those underlying issues. Get in touch for a free consultation and let’s work together to improve your sleep and well-being.
If you’re interested in learning more about the science of sleep, I highly recommend the book Why We Dream by Joe Griffin and Ivan Tyrrell. It’s a fascinating read that delves deeper into the purpose of dreaming and its impact on our mental health.