When you read the word ‘trauma’, what does it mean to you? Do you think about the military and the horrors they have experienced? Do you see abuse or starvation, an operation gone wrong, illness, domestic violence, horrendous bullying, or being in a car crash?
All of these would constitute trauma with a big ‘T’, but trauma is such a broad spectrum, and you might be surprised to read that even what constitutes small, negative experiences can be seen as trauma, with a small ‘t’.
Trauma is all about what happened and how well you were able to heal from the experience. It can be overcome through therapy with a trained trauma professional. This is important. There are many ‘therapists’ and ‘coaches’ out there who are great at setting goals and helping you to get what you want, but are not trained in supporting people whose trauma has caused many complex emotions and feelings, sometimes for decades.
Childhood trauma
Trauma can be something you’ve witnessed. If, when you were a young child, you saw your parents having terrible arguments, even coming to blows, this will have an adverse effect. The term ACES is used here – Adverse Childhood Experiences. Being a witness to unpleasant events is as important to consider in many cases.
Often, people don’t believe they should use the word ‘trauma’ to describe what they have seen or experienced, and that is OK, but not really fair to the individual. I know there were many things that happened to me and that I witnessed growing up, which were very unpleasant, and I too find them difficult to describe as ‘trauma’. A good dose of self-compassion was needed.
Through my own experiences of having therapy and with all the learning I’ve done, I can see that these experiences have had consequences throughout my life, both mental and physical. I am also neurodivergent – highly sensitive. Being autistic and ADHD made me susceptible to adverse experiences like bullying and abuse.
So what happens when you have had one or many adverse experiences and you’ve grown up to be an adult and wonder why you keep getting ill or need to take time off work? How are your relationships with family, friends, work colleagues, and what were your school experiences like?
Here are some examples of how trauma can affect you as you develop. Do you identify with any of these?
- Quick to anger or tears
- Hypervigilant
- Perfectionism
- Overwork
- Dissociating, zoning out or shutting down
- Sleep issues
- Disordered eating
- Chronic pain
- Chronic stress
- Attachment issues
- Insecurity
- Addiction
- Lacking meaning
- Numbing
- Sex difficulties
The list can go on…
Why can’t I deal with trauma?
Why is it that some people have gone through adverse life experiences, yet their mental health is fine and they have managed to get on with their lives, while other folks wear their trauma like a black, heavy cloak?
Often, this goes back to what your very early life experiences were like. If you were brought up early on with your primary caregivers giving you full attention and love, supporting you as you grew and helping you to be your unique self, then you were in a much stronger position to have good emotional strength and intelligence, so when bad things did happen you were resilient and could get through the tough times.
If, however, from birth to around five, you had the opposite, it is possible that you didn’t gain the tools you needed when negative life experiences came your way.
You may have had a good upbringing, but something terrible happened anyway at some point in your life. Through counselling, this can be talked through, and techniques can be used to help you heal. Trauma is a mental health condition, and as such, it can be supported in the therapy room, and you can recover and get your life back on track.
This is done without judgment or blame. Helping you to understand that you are worthy, it wasn’t your fault, to see things another way and to recover is hugely liberating and allows you to be free of trauma bonds.
As a Human Givens Practitioner, I am trained in The Rewind Technique, which is an evidence-based, beneficial tool to help overcome trauma. Throughout my ten years as a mental health professional, I have learned different approaches to lower anxiety, relieve stress, help with grounding exercises and improve breathing. I am here to listen to your story and to understand your challenges.
Get in touch
For a free, twenty-minute phone call to see how I might be able to support you, please fill out the contact form, and I will get back to you shortly to organise a convenient time to talk.
You don’t have to go on this journey alone.
Here’s the link to a short TikTok video that shares a quick insight on trauma:
👉 Watch on TikTok