I wonder how you are feeling as you approach the menopause years? Back in 2007, I was 42 and didn’t even know I was ADHD. My periods were becoming irregular, but gradually. It was my mental health that scared me the most.
In this blog, we look at the signs you might be experiencing, go some way to explain why they could be happening and share practical tips on how to work with your symptoms and support yourself as an ADHDer, going through perimenopause.
Am I ADHD, or is it Perimenopause?
I’ve spoken to many women who have asked this question. You may have gone through most of your adult life managing pretty well. Perhaps you have lived on your own, held down jobs, are in a relationship, have kids and done the ‘normal’ day-to-day things we all do. But then you feel like you are starting to unravel. Do these signs sound familiar?
My emotions are all over the place. One minute I’m happy, next in floods of tears, and then I’m snapping at my husband all the time.
I don’t feel like myself anymore at 42.
Why can’t I cope as I used to? I’m overeating, drinking more and buying all sorts of things I don’t need.
I feel so exhausted. I used to have much more energy.
I’m making stupid mistakes. I feel like such an idiot.
My memory is like a goldfish. I can’t remember names or what I was doing a moment ago.
I just can’t focus on simple tasks and end up scrolling on my phone for hours.
I feel so agitated. I just can’t sit still and relax.
My sleep is all over the place, and I wake up exhausted.
I bet you could add many more changes you might be experiencing that can make you feel confused, upset or frustrated.
Hormones and ADHD
I’m not an expert on hormones, so I’m putting some links in this blog for resources to learn more. I can share some basic knowledge.
When we are (or think we are) ADHD and heading into perimenopause, we’re talking about these hormones and neurotransmitters mainly:
- Dopamine
- Serotonin
- Oestrogen
- Progesterone
- Testosterone
It will be these that start to fluctuate, madly at times, and we often don’t feel like we have any control over them. Each of them will be responsible for things like motivation, emotional regulation, stress and anxiety levels, moods, energy, focus, memory, sex drive, coping and much more.
So, what can you do when you are going through all of this?
Make learning about perimenopause and ADHD a priority. Back in 2007, when I was 42, I didn’t have a clue, and I thought I was going bonkers. I thought menopause happened in our fifties, and I didn’t know I had ADHD. Here are some resources to look at.
Additude is brilliant, with a wealth of information about ADHD. You could start by doing this online test to see if you might have ADHD.
You may already suspect you are (or ‘have’) ADHD. You may also have read scare stories about long waiting lists, overdiagnosis or that friends or family don’t understand or agree when you explain that you think you might be ADHD. These can be some of the hardest things to cope with. There is more you could try.
Talking to your GP about ADHD and perimenopause
It can be difficult to advocate for yourself when you only have a ten-minute appointment. And then there is the online form you often need to complete just to get to see the right person. Here’s what I did.
I’ll be honest. I’ve had some tough times at the GP and sometimes came away feeling like I missed important information, said too much irrelevant stuff or felt like I was not listened to or understood. I found the online form so stressful. It felt like, when I finally did get my appointment, the GP hadn’t looked at any of the information on the form, and I wasn’t able to remember what I had written. I’d get myself in a right tizz.
I suggest writing or typing up your own report of all your symptoms to help advocate for yourself. You could even do two, one for your perimenopause symptoms and one for your ADHD symptoms. Keep them in a safe place and be concise with what you write. You can use these notes to fill in the online form and take them with you to GP appointments. I gave my notes to my GP, and he scanned them and put them in my health record. I felt so validated and pleased that he was supporting me.
On the online form, some of the sections give you up to 500 words to use to describe your symptoms. Use them from your notes.
ADHD and ‘Right to Choose’
If you think you might be ADHD and want to get assessed and potentially consider medication, you can ask your GP for a ‘Right to Choose’. This is an NHS shared agreement between the GP and an ADHD assessment provider. Different areas have different waiting times. If you are frustrated by long waiting times, or for any other reason (and you are able to financially), you might consider going privately. Here are some recommended private ADHD providers:
- Care ADHD: The Centre for ADHD Research & Excellence
- ADHD 360
- The ADHD Centre: Leading Private Neurodiversity Assessment and Treatment Clinic
- I also recommend having a look at the UK’s leading charity for ADHD, as they have lots of useful information: ADHD UK
ADHD and hormone treatment near me
Hormone Replacement Therapy – HRT – is often the first line of attack when you enter perimenopause, even before considering ADHD assessment and/or medication. Your hormones are likely all over the place, and it can be beneficial to get advice about stabilising your perimenopause symptoms first. Not everyone can go on HRT, so it is important to get good advice.
Your GP surgery is likely to have a dedicated hormone/menopause specialist, so it is worth making an appointment to see them. I also recommend looking at Dr Louise Newson and Sarah West, a practising nurse, to see what they have to say about HRT and ADHD.
Counselling and Coaching for ADHD during perimenopause
Sometimes, just being able to talk to a counsellor or coach about what you have been going through can make a big improvement during your perimenopausal journey. These two directories list ethical and professional Therapists. It’s worth checking the list of services they provide to see if they can support ADHD and menopause.
If you would like a free, no obligation, twenty-minute chat with me about what you are experiencing, then please fill out this contact form, and we can set a convenient time.
I offer face-to-face counselling and coaching in Frome and the surrounding Somerset area, or online therapy nationally for ADHD and perimenopause support.
You don’t have to go through ADHD and perimenopause alone.