I have had different periods of burnout over time. I thought it was depression. So did my GP. I was treated with antidepressants. My burnout persisted. Burnout is not recognised in the industry standard medical journal, the DSM-5. It should be. For neurodivergent people, burnout can be crippling and last for weeks, months and even years. By understanding what it means to suffer with burnout, you can be prepared and manage your symptoms and perhaps even prevent it from happening in the first place.
Depression vs Neurodivergent Burnout
Depression and burnout share similar traits but also differ, and this can affect how to manage both conditions. If a person suffers from chronic stress and feels as though they can’t get their needs met over time, then sometimes depression will be the result.
A GP or counsellor may see your symptoms as depression and suggest exercise, diet change, hobbies, connection, medication and more when these things might actually make the burnout symptoms worse. Here is the NHS information on depression: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/depression-in-adults/overview/
Burnout for neurodivergent people is different. It’s much more about things like sensory issues, emotional deregulation, our environment, what is happening in our body and more.
Let’s look at autistic burnout and ADHD burnout. There are Differences
Autistic Burnout
One of the biggest features of autism is masking. When a person is in autistic burnout, masking abilities might be considerably diminished, and this can lead to meltdowns or shutdowns. Different people will experience this in a unique way – “When you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person”.
You might find demands very hard to manage. These can be other people making demands of you, you demanding things of yourself, and not being able to ask for help, even for very small things. This can lead to demand avoidance and affect how your nervous system is regulated.
You might feel as though you are much more sensitive during a period of burnout. Your clothes might feel even more uncomfortable. Sound, smell and light might feel even more aggressive to you. You might have noticed you are more irritable or likely to cry, or that you are experiencing panic or anxiety attacks.
Autistic burnout doesn’t just appear. It is normally a collection of stressors that get to the point where ‘one more thing’ sends you over the edge. Just picking out some random examples for context to show how autistic burnout can arise:
You have had back pain for ages, and your normal medication is not working. Then there is a change at work, maybe a new person has started who you don’t get on with, or your desk has been moved to a place that doesn’t suit your sensory needs. Then your child comes to you upset and tells you they are being bullied at school. Then an unexpected bill arrives. The last straw is when you can’t remember your password, and you think your phone has been hacked. It’s all just too much, and your brain and body cannot process or regulate itself. You shut down or melt down. All this was the perfect storm for an autistic burnout. Can you think of a time when a number of things happened, and then it all became too much and you basically ‘malfunctioed’?
Many of us can have difficulties understanding what is happening in our minds and bodies when it comes to burnout. Two terms you may have heard of are Alexithymia and Interoception. Alexithymia is when we have difficulties understanding our feelings and emotions, not recognising when we are anxious, sad or angry. This can apply to the feelings of others, too. Have you ever had someone say to you, “How are you?” and what you wanted to say was, “I don’t know”, but you said instead, “I’m fine.
Interoception is more about understanding our bodily functions, ie, hunger, tiredness, perception of space and how our bodies fit in the space around us, our breathing and digestive workings.
ADHD Burnout
Similar things can take place if you have ADHD, and you might be both AuDHD. Here are some slightly different aspects to look out for.
A common and often debilitating trait of ADHD is Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD). I went through a period of feeling constantly rejected and criticised at work a few years back. I felt as though I couldn’t stand up for myself and had nowhere to turn. This led to imposter syndrome and trying to be perfect. I micromanaged myself to the point of OCD and had constant intrusive thoughts. It was totally exhausting. This led to a three-week period of burnout. Has something like this happened to you?
Another trait of ADHD is starting things and not finishing them, like hobbies. When we are in burnout, we often can’t even use our hobbies to cope, like playing video games, walking in nature or watching our favourite TV series. Burnout can manifest in losing the ability to use your coping strategies. You may feel like all you want to do is be in bed, not speak and eat high-carb or sugary foods to try to get more energy. Your caffeine or alcohol intake might increase. I know I overeat during burnouts.
Emotional deregulation is a key characteristic of ADHD. Sometimes, in burnout, you might get to a point where all emotion is spent, and you could feel numb, with life having little purpose. Unfortunately for autistic and ADHD people, depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation is more prevalent than in the wider population. Burnout can lead to these mental health challenges.
So what can be done to prevent and manage burnout?
As neurodivergent people, we are more susceptible to burnout. It is likely we will experience it at some point. One of the reasons for this is that society, the workplace and other people do not understand our lived experiences as a minority in the population. We have to survive on a planet that often does not cater for our unique needs. There are some things we can do.
Acceptance. We can accept that we experience the world in a different way. Difference is not wrong or less than. Some people handle things in one way, and we handle things in another.
Prepare. Imagine you are going on a camping holiday. This is a different type of experience from going on a beach holiday for a week. You will need specific items that you wouldn’t take to Majorca. A camping stove, sleeping bag, groundsheet, tent pegs and mallet, first aid kit and waterproof clothes. Use this analogy (or something similar) to think about preparing for likely burnouts.
It’s a good idea to have specific foods and drinks available in your cupboard, fridge or freezer that you can reach for when you are in burnout. You might not be able to prepare food and have little energy. Having some joggers, t-shirts and hoodies ready to wear can be helpful. You don’t want to be thinking about the outfits you normally wear. Explain to people that you will be incognito for a while but will get in touch when you are ready.
Setting boundaries. Your social battery might be at zero. Burnout can lead to feelings of guilt and shame, like you’re letting people down. No, you are not. Think of burnout like the flu or a broken arm. You need to rest and recover. This means being able to say “No” without guilt. You can do the things when you have recovered from your burnout.
Don’t rush it. What we really need when we are in burnout is the right amount of time and resources, in order to recover. It can be easier said than done. We need to work. We might have parenting responsibilities or be caring for elderly parents. I totally get that. Still, if we don’t concentrate on getting our needs met and care for ourselves, one burnout can lead to another, and another.
Small steps. Attempting a 5km run when you’re in burnout may be too high an expectation. A walk around the park might be OK. Getting some sun on your skin and air in your lungs is beneficial. Even sitting outside for a few minutes. Whatever you can manage. You might be eating too much beige food and drinking too many energy drinks. Don’t beat yourself up. There will come a time when you can get healthy after this period of burnout has passed – and it will.
In no particular order and stressing that this is my personal journey, here are some of the things I did/do to prevent, manage and recover with regards to Burnout:
- I keep a daily journal to get what’s in my head onto paper (useful for future possible burnouts)
- I have ended relationships that were not healthy or authentic
- I make time for rest, without guilt
- I prioritise sleep, a healthy diet and exercise
- I look out for markers that a burnout is coming (getting more clumsy, feeling very tired, intrusive thoughts, overwhelm, brain fog, irritation, isolating)
- I have my ‘burnout pack’ – clothes, food, TV, resources for when I need to rest and recover
- I self-educate. Audiobooks, podcasts, TikTok, articles
- Look up these keywords and phrases – burnout, autistic burnout, ADHD burnout, burnout support, autistic burnout vs depression
- I have changed how I work, and our family have moved to another county – much more chilled here in Somerset
Do you think it might be time for a change? Change can be a tricky thing for us neurodivergent types, but look at your situation, the bigger picture. Do you keep repeating negative behaviours? Is your work situation not meeting your needs? Is there a relationship that is not bringing you joy anymore? It can feel overwhelming to think about making a change, and this is where a neurodivergent coach, counsellor or mentor can help.
We are not inside your personal circumstance, so we can look at your situation objectively. We can listen and validate your concerns, without judgment. We can offer advice if that is what you want. You can find a Therapist who speaks your unique language by Googling. In the same way you might get three quotes for a roofing job, shop around and take advantage of free phone consults to find a Therapist that fits your needs, maybe an ‘autistic counsellor’ or ‘ADHD coach’.
If anything in this blog sounds familiar to what you are going through, then maybe your next step is to find someone to talk with. There are different Therapists you can Google for local counsellors, and the Counselling Directory is helpful for this. I offer online and face-to-face support. Please fill in the contact form for a free, twenty-minute phone consult. Maybe take a look around this website for the services I offer, my qualifications, prices and what to expect at therapy sessions with me.
Burnout is tough. I’m here to help you prepare, manage and recover from it. Let’s have a chat.
I’m listening…